weird, and yummy

Persimmons* are delicious. I learned this year that they're even better peeled! This way that thick thick skin doesn't interfere with your experience of their sweet cinnamon-y flesh.

but i had 4 in the fruit bowl, and only one day to eat them. Enter the recipe!

Persimmon, Spinach and Almond Couscous

Adapted from Denise's Kitchen

Makes: 4 – 6 servings

Ingredients:
1 Tbsp olive oil
1 chopped leek
1 cup spinach
1 or 2 small Fuyu persimmons, peeled and chopped into cubes
1/2 cup chopped unsalted raw or roasted almonds
dash nutmeg
accidental dash of cumin seeds (these might be better omitted)
1.5 cup whole wheat couscous
1.5 cup hot water, chicken broth or vegetable broth
Salt to taste

Preparation:
1. Chop leeks, spinach and persimmons and set aside.
2. Heat olive oil in a medium sauce pan and add leek.
3. Cook leek until tender, add spinach and cook a minute or two more (until leeks are translucent).
4. Add persimmons, salt, almonds, and spices (this would be good with thyme, but somehow i don't have any) and cook for another 2 minutes.
5. Stir in couscous and then add hot water or broth along with a little salt to taste.
6. Turn off heat, cover, and let sit for five minutes.
7. Add in parsley, fluff the couscous with a fork and then serve.

(*fuyus! hachiyas are just scary)

interview

i told Rishi how much money we'd have if i got the job. "Rishi," I said, "do you know what we could do if we had money?!?"

"Go to park?" he said. 

Oh, no, not so much of that. :(

Is this card ok?

I'm not sure about this photo. There are so few of the boy and I together...and in this one he's half cut off and I'm wearing sunglasses. Too much for a Christmas card? I really like the design, though!

Christmas Book for the Grands

Gift giving is so easy when you have kids. Well, gifts for my parents are easy.

Click here to view this photo book larger

before i forget: i am thankful

for my friends. who watch and love on my kid, and seem to have endless patience for me.

for my parents, who still support me so much it's humbling, most especially with this stupid law stuff I've been through this year. but also for the heater, which my mom had installed when the little boy was less than a week old. 

for unemployment, which is keeping the heater on and the bills paid, so far. 

for my neighbors, who are always just right next door, and also love on the boy. 

the internet, which keeps me connected even as i'm alone in my house.

the library, where we can go and sing songs and get new stories for little man to tell me, surprising me every time. 

the sweet california sunshine. even in the surprising cold, that sun shines.

for prozac, which has softened the last 10 days. thanks, big pharma. also for the other thing that's kept me mobile for the past 5 years. that one is pretty great too. 

for the guy at the party who listed "avocados" number 2 on his list, and reminded me to do my own. 

Thanks. 

amazing week of soup

My soup pot's been on the stove all week. Outstanding! 

On Monday, i made split pea, which worked nicely to feed my "cleansing" babysitter. I made it up- soak a 99 cent bag of split peas with lemon juice overnight, rinse well, then saute whatever allium is in the fridge with a bunch of cumin, a dash of red pepper and chili powder (why not?), salt, pepper, add the peas, equal parts broth and water (or whatever) and simmer til soft. Delish. Didn't even freeze any, we just ate the whole pot. 

Wednesday I finally put all of the mushroom ingredients that had been waiting in the fridge for a week into the Roasted Mushroom recipe from Soup Love. It's really rich. It probably would have been better with actual wine, rather than that year-old bottle of $2 chuck, and omitting the carrots was not the best choice...but I froze a jar for Mom's visit, and am finishing the last fresh bowl now. It's a solid recipe. Yay! I stalked this little book in the local earthy boutiques before my sweet friends gave it to me for my birthday. Thanks, guys!

Yesterday emls and I whipped up a pot of this Butternut Soup with Bacon for the potluck Thanksgiving orphan dinner. What an excellent tradition. I kind of like going to these random events and celebrating a big holiday with (mostly) strangers. Arty, intellectual strangers. It reminds me why I love it here. Anyway, this recipe is so easy. You can fudge whatever you want on it (we tripled the garlic and eyeballed the cream, and have no idea how the amount of squash we used compares to the recipe) and it still works. Take it to a potluck (without vegetarians) and make yourself popular.

the mulch

I need to document The Mulch, which took over much of my mental space, a lot of my lung capacity, and a fair amount of the boy's vocabulary for about 3 weeks of last month. I requested it (free! delivered! too good to be true!) to mulch the berries.

I had read that you should cover your berries with at least three inches of wood mulch for the winter. I thought I could also use it in the front beds...so I requested a truckload. AHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA. it would have been funny, and absurd, if it had been delivered as promised. A truckload of wood in my smaller-than a truck front yard. And the neighbors (all around, not just the special ones) would have noted what a nutjob I am, and maybe they would have taken some of it, and that would be great! But the tree service delivered it to the wrong side of the street.

this photo was taken AFTER about 30 wheelbarrow loads and 500 phone calls. I took it to post the mulch on criagslist for the second or third time, and I am happy to report that it is completely gone thanks to one final gallant effort by those amazing neighbors I mention here and there.

AY MEN

things i like about oakland

recognizing that there is no zen on the mountaintop, i feel like i should list things i LIKE about this shithole town i live in:

the weather is f^&ing fantastic

there are all sorts of wonderful wildflowers- big ones, that sprout in unexpected places (two examples- the pale pink August lily, and the cala lily, which appears to be sprouting for my birthday. aww. <3)

did i mention the weather? not only is it easy to dress and wonderful to be in, it's amazing for gardening and growing stuff.

my neighbors rule. let that not go unnoticed. they are the reason i am alive today. also they let me borrow their printer, which is totally awesome lately.

unforch the culture that has sprouted here blows. todays example is the teenagers in a lexus (i assume they're selling drugs because why would you bring your lexus to this neighborhood?) who pulled over and slammed on their brakes next to me under the freeway, then laughed and drove away as i jumped and looked, startled. 

so to the people looking at the house across the street, with the great details and the soundproofed music studio out back? Buyer Beware. under $400K is not low enough for the quality of life you're giving up. 

love

bex

ps birthday party tonight. maybe someone will have my golden ticket out.

theni tried this "best granola ever"

this stuff smelled amazing when it was cooking...but the results are still out

I cooked again!

last week was kind of epic, what with the giant chard and the quiche for the mountains, and then the delicious vegetable stew i conjured from a bag of raw vegetables, a steak knife, and a camp stove. so when i came back i was lethargic about food. i wanted to be in the mountains, harvesting chestnuts and watching the clouds.

So the girls cam over and made this confusing but yummy Tourte de Blettes, (which includes a crust with no butter- whoa - and was totally good??) The kitchen was a wreck and the one leftover slice of dessert-for-dinner wasn't calling to me.

But I finished the last of my homemade granola early in the week when I couldn't be bothered to cook anything for dinner...and then the potato chips (please don't tell) and cheese and hummus were holding out, and then omg did you know you can buy pasta sauce in a jar and it is SO MUCH BETTER than what you (I) make at home? so yes, i caved. this afternoon i stuck apple slices in a grilled cheese, dunked it in leftover pasta sauce and pretended it was a gourmet lunch.

and then i lounged around reading my book all afternoon and didn't even make it to yoga. the odds of the kitchen turning back on looked slim.

BUT I DID IT.

scallions, garlic, canola and sesame oils. half a bag of brown mushrooms, 2 fillets of salmon, some tamari sauce, and sweet red pepper. added bok choy ribs toward the end, leaves even later. put it on a bed of lettuce, and not only am i cooking, I'm eating vegetables again! shoulda bought ginger, but the GroceOut doesn't stock it.

while that was sauteing, i baked brownies. BOOM!

let's hope the boy eats some of it. i think i'll get him to help me with granola in the morning regardless. phew. real food feels so much better than potato chips.

why not swearing in front of kids is so great

When Rishi dropped a giant bag of Halloween candy he had been lugging around, he cried "Oh DEAR!"

things that have been stolen from my property

i hate oakland sometimes. the neighbors can give my kid balloons all day, it doesn't change the fact that stuff disappears, on a regular basis, from my doorstep. ARGH.

So, in recent weeks, I've lost

• a side table. this table furnished my stoop for several months until it abruptly disappeared this afternoon. Right after I thought/said to myself "I should take this in now that the rain has started."
• 4 pieces of outgoing mail. containing a birthday card to my mother, a personal check, and MY COMPLETED (absentee) CALIFORNIA BALLOT. Have you ever seen a California ballot? It's like a final exam of studying you have to do to be a conscientious citizen. And mine was stolen. Thankfully, since then my mail has been full of voter guides of the sort where you just take the Democratic (or Green, or "Conservation"??) flyer to the poll and check off what they tell you. But I voted my conscience! GDMF, as they say.*
• A bag of soiled diapers. SERIOUSLY??
• a car stereo. ok. we expect these to get stolen. FINE.

that's all. except maybe a plastic spider. Can you believe the nerve of these people?!?!?

luv

R

* I wonder about going to the polling place on election day. The vote-by-mail envelope has all sorts of warnings against voter fraud. So while I completed the ballot and signed it the way you're supposed to, did the crackhead who stole it mail it anyway, knowing there was no money in there? Or was it a Meg Whitman canvasser who stole it, knowing there's not a chance in hell I'd vote for her? OR WAS IT ONE OF THE MULCH PEOPLE? Pissed that the mulch was wet and possibly full of mold spores? Oh god. I have too many enemies.

pumpkin pie and a technique to keep your house warm for an afternoon

With all of the boiling and baking in this recipe, it's perfect for the first cold day of the rainy season. It coincided nicely with the first pumpkin in our veggie box. 

Take one small pumpkin (about this size or a little smaller)

From Fall 2010

, chop it up. Roast the seeds, well salted, at 200 degrees for about an hour.

Steam the pumpkin chunks in a steamer basket - about 30-40 mins

Mix these things in a bowl:

mushed pumpkin ~ 1.5 cups

3-4 heaping tablespoons crystallized honey (you know you have some hiding in the cupboard)

1/4 - 1/3 c. agave nectar or similar agave/maple blend

1 14oz can coconut milk 

2 eggs

if you have a toddler, let him help with:

1/2 tsp salt

1.5 tsp cinnamon

1/2 tsp powdered ginger

1/2 tsp powdered cloves (we may have gone a little light on the cloves)

mix it up, bake it in a pie shell at 425 for 10 minutes, then lower the heat to 300 and bake another 40-ish minutes. it bakes a LONG time because of all of that liquid. it will be gooey, and delicious. 

what's wrong with this recipe?

THERE IS NO FAT AND NO SALT in this beautiful looking pot of soup

so even though it has yummy things like spinach and lentils and curry powder, it is dull. the flat kind of spicy that lacks the love of butter, or coconut milk. bummer!

from the desk of Madonna

"i hate actresses, they have nothing on the house of extravaganza."

!!! I would just really like to remember that phrase. 

dancers 4e!

luv, r

for Maggie: Roasted Chile Soup

Here's the soup! Modified from Roasted Poblano Soup, which my favorite Eatwell Farm sent me.

I modified it by adding every pepper-related fruit in my kitchen, which on this day included (roasted) tomatillos and (pureed) sweet red peppers. Oh and I didn't have nutmeg, so I substituted cinnamon.

3 Poblano peppers 1 cup milk
3 Gypsy or red bell peppers 1 cup cream or half-and-half
1 onion 3 Tbsp. butter
4-5 cloves garlic 1 Tbsp. all-purpose flour
3 tomatoes, chopped with juices 2 ears-worth of corn, kernels sliced off (optional)
2 cups chicken or vegetable broth cilantro
salt and pepper to taste tortilla chips
½ tsp. ground nutmeg sour cream

Preheat oven to broil. Place Poblanos on a cookie sheet and place in oven. Allow skin to blacken and blister, turning the chile peppers until all sides are done. You can also place the peppers directly over the flame on top of your stove if you have a gas burner. When they are done, place them in a bowl and cover with a lid, plate, or Saran Wrap. In about 15 to 20 mins, take them out and peel the skin off each one under running water. Remove the stems and seeds and dice. In a pan sauté the onions and garlic. Add your peppers (diced) and cook for about 5 min. Add tomatoes, broth and nutmeg. Place all ingredients in a blender or food processor (be careful, the mixture will be hot and will want to jump right out of the blender. Best to do in small batches). Blend until smooth. If soup is too thick for your liking, add more broth or water to the blender until it reaches desired consistency (remembering also that you will be adding 2 more cups of liquid with the milk and cream).

In a small saucepan over med. heat, warm the milk and the cream or half-and-half and set aside. In another saucepan over med. heat, melt the butter or margarine, add the flour and stir well. Add the warmed milk and stir until well blended. Add the chile pepper mixture and mix well. Add corn, reduce heat to low and simmer for 30 mins. Add cilantro sprigs, tortilla chips or yogurt/sour cream to garnish.

delicious raspberry crumble

yum! we modified this recipe from the Smitten Kitchen -- which is supposed to be a huge winner -- to reduce the wheat and refined sugar. Grammy says flour "just sits" in her belly, so we kept it light. <3

preheat oven to 375

for the crumble

1 c. whole wheat flour (which i now keep in the fridge after the WAPF people made me scared about rotten grains)

2 c. oats (we bought 110 servings of oats at Costco, so we're into em!)

1/2 c. almond flour. this was a last minute addition, but i think it added some nice heft to the crust

1/2 c. agave nectar

1/4 c. brown sugar

2 sticks butter (+ 1T for the pan)

1 tsp. baking powder

1/4 tsp. salt

1 egg

for the filling

4 c. fresh raspberries

2 T lemon juice (zest would be nice too, but we didn't have any)

1/2 c. agave nectar

4 tsp corn starch (i keep this in the bathroom because it's usually a beauty product. that's for another post)

i threw some chopped almonds in here too, which didn't turn out as bad as we expected

mix the crust, put 1/2 - 2/3 in the bottom of your big stoneware lasagna pan (9x13)

pour the berries over

crumble the rest of the crust atop that berry mixture

bake 45 mins (or slightly less) until delicious and brown.

EAT! Would be great with a frozen vanilla treat of your choice, or for breakfast, or all the time. Even though I usually don't get all that excited about raspberries OR about fruit desserts, this was a great dessert. We froze a bunch too, so don't be afraid if I offer you some when you come and visit!

xoxoxo

holy crap

this week one friend had a baby

another friend lost his mom

and another one started chemo.

Jesus. I should tune in. 

it is ok to be where you are

(this one's just a reminder for me)

ain't gotta be going somewhere all the time. i am here now. enough.

It's harder to do without that shorty around.

fat bottom girls

I rearranged my furniture on Sunday cause Mom was coming to visit...but then she's not because of another family emergency (which is going quite well! thanks for asking. though she is literally DYING to see the boy). Today is the first day I've turned on the TV since the move. Ok it's not a particularly amazing amount of time, but I'm going to be happy with 4 days of no potato-ing, previous post notwithstanding ;)

daily cook

I am cooking daily! And taking out the compost almost as often. Go ritual.

I decided I will cook one thing each day. I will not trip about making every meal the most amazing nutritious experience of our lives. I even gave the boy a bite of my cookie today. I think I blew his mind. Sure, dad gives him treats, but Mommy's cookies are 100% off limits. Until today... one bite, no chocolate.

To start my roll, Tuesday I baked some fish. Yesterday I made granola from scratch! (Thanks, Chicken. Side note- is there an Oakland corollary to this awesome P-town community? I am jealous of these crafty women.) Maggie said it was good, but it wasn't as sweet as I'm used to, which meant 1) it's good for the kid! and 2) next time, more sweets. more oil, too, why not! Michael Pollan says you can eat as much junk food as you want, so long as you make it yourself, and that makes sense to me. I will fatten up that granola!

Today i made spaghetti and meatballs! except instead of pasta, i used boiled Eatwell potatoes. THEY ARE SO GOOD. and to sauce up my packaged meatballs, I used a whole bunch of other eatwell stuff: garlic, onion, basil, tomatoes. Solid. The boy ate it up like crazy, commenting "spicy!" about the meatballs, and then downing them. He tried to help me cook by pouring the kettle water into the potato pot. If he had been around 5 hours earlier, when I was boiling the potatoes, he might have been more helpful. ;)

I am tired and I have a headache. I need to drink more water in the day. Right now I'm drinking coffee (just a cup or so) throughout the morning, and then i'm on the go in the afternoon. There's no water in there. Ouch.

Right- so tomorrow! Tomorrow I will try this stew. The chicken is defrosting and the tomatillos are roasting. It should be delicious...

today is the day I'd like to turn into a lifestyle

What with all of the job ending and court going, it's been a little stressful here at camp unemployment kick it with the kiddo. But I may have found my groove today! Let's discuss:

sweet good mornings
yoga
latte! donut! (this part is just an occasional. NOT for the lifestyle plan)
cooking healthy delicious food! herbs from the garden and everything.
lunch date! more delicious! peaches! strawberries! gossip!
2 baby time. those kids are sweeter'n pie.
city adventure
city adventure!
hot dads
heeh

The baby was dressed from his windbreaker to his baby legs in baby boy blue, and the woman walking by called him "she", with no hesitation, about 4 times. Also, the sun came out. Go today!

I should seriously go to sleep to finalize the celebration. (I miss you, San Francisco. So Bad.)

whoop!

i hate yoga

don't ever let me tell you any different. unless i'm talking about KK.

BLECH! yoga! and that damned yoga teacher tone!

And yes, of course I will try again. I bought the Gr0upon!

Goat Trails of Northern California

there are probably three people i always enjoy hiking with. one is [emls]. we've developed a thing, it's nice. i love hiking, but you can't go with the wrong person. that's counterproductive. so Erin, and someone else, I'm sure (placeholder for?) and oh man, even though he's only been walking a third of his life, the kid is definitely one of them. This is in spite of the fact that he makes me carry him halfway.

We went on a new trail today, one that is supposed to have berries. NICE. I love finding food in the wild, and he loves berries. (He can almost say "blackberries". This is for reals.) Se we're trying out this new trail which was great if somewhat hard to find, and even in the car, he's gasping "WOW!" at the scenery. It was gorgeous. and QUIET. (He put his finger over his mouth, whispered "quiet"). But he quit walking a little early. It was a narrow trail, and kind of steep. So, cool. I started carrying him, and after a little ways I'm a little winded, a little sweaty, but I'm thinking we've covered a lot of ground! We've found a little berry patch (6 tiny berries), we're rolling. So we got to marker 5 high five! yeah! we must be close cause god i am sweaty and panting.

Not so fast, apparently there are SEVENTEEN trail markers. We had only just begun. But he is great! He is funny and sweet and he sees things I don't. And he is interested in the stuff I tell him, so we've got a good thing going. I did plead a little for him to walk, and then I used my mommy skills. See those boys running? do you want to run like the big boys? and then I ran backwards to get him to chase me, which he did, laughing all the way. and it was wonderful.

i probably carried him uphill a half mile. or maybe twice that. he's so damn sweet; it's fine.


moral: make sure there is food - and water- for afterwards (check!) and a clean diaper, if you use them (check!) and have a strong core and some serious baby lifting arms (check, check). and finally, ALWAYS GET A TRAIL MAP.

post about interracial dating when you already have a mixed son

[placeholder]

Italian treats on Bastille Day

I made a frittata. it's just not a week without a big egg pie in the fridge. this one contains Eatwell's best: stir fry greens, the sweetest little summer squash, loads of basil, and green beans from the backyard. i shredded a little cheddar (mine) and jack (baby's) cheese, then remembered that dear Nigel had sent the first tomato of the season too. the first tomato of the season is usually a little firm, a little less juicy and running-down-the-chin than i prefer for a raw tomato, so i chopped it and baked it into the pie. YUMM!

it should be a nice break from the chard and Parmesan versions I've been stirring up all spring.

when, oh when, will we buy meat again?

Happy Revolution, France. In honor of you, i worked a short day, lunched outside, and drank a glass of sparkling wine (don't worry too much that it was prosecco). Vive la Revolucion indeed.

Bears made from recycled clothing

Good Ideas sent you a link to a blog:

Blog: Junk Mail Gems
Post: Bears made from recycled clothing

What a great idea! But there's no need to ship off my old clothes and wait for someone else to manufacture them, I'll use the piles of stained or otherwise not pass-on-able clothes to make keepsake animals. Easier than a quilt? For me, I'm thinking YES.

good and bad and sweet for today

Start with good
No strangers yelled at me!
I talked with THREE members of my family and tentatively planned a getaway.
When my attorney's on vacation, she's not charging me fees (I hope)
Rishi's shoes came home!

In the bad
I'm scared about health care
It's been a while and I could use some sex

Let's close the day with a cute kid story.
We have a library book called More More More Said the Baby. I thought it would be fun because the peanut can sign "more"...though now he's starting to say, too..."moh".

One of the characters in this lovely book is Little Pumpkin. She's my favorite because she's in a mixed race home (how could i not love her brown skin and white granny?)...but Rishi is concerned more with her footwear.

Through the course of events in the book, Little Pumpkin loses one shoe

and then another.

When Rishi first realized this, he commented "oh no!" and pointed at her shoes on the ground. (This is for a pivotal plot point. But you'll need to get to the library or Pegasus to find out exactly what happens...) Oh no, Little Pumpkin, your cute green sneakers are amiss! We chuckled about it-- oh no! (so cute)...and kept going. But Rishi had just set me up for the real punchline: The next time through, we opened to Little Pumpkin's page and Rishi stopped, pointed at the shoes on her feet, and said, with implicit foreboding, "oh no!".

This kid is a comedic genius.
(smiley Rishi from July 2010)

i should be much more alert now

this baby woke up 2 hours late and instead of waking him up and starting the day (or starting mine before his), i luxuriated in bed too. but now he's not napping and he's in that purgatory of not going out to do fun stuff and not sleeping either. though actually, he doesn't seem to be bothered...

i didn't drink my coffee because i was working out. but then i didn't finish the workout because he was restless. so i'm un-exercised and un-caffeinated. now that i put it that way, this is an easy problem to solve! back to the reheat button.

later!

about assumptions

I'm starting this blog to bring a voice to the weirdness that is being a  privileged white girl (woman) raising a mixed race kid in a moderately troubled traditionally african american neighborhood in one of the chocolate cities of the USA, Oakland, right by a boho white folks' city...which is, to be fair, in fact increasingly latino and otherwise mixed because well hello it's california in 2010.

So it's not surprising when I walk into the County Services building for a "Parenting Orientation" (um, 19 months late?) and I'm the only white person in the room.

It's also not surprising when, as an only child with a deep, deep loneliness, I look for ways to separate myself from the other people in the room. This is my shit, this is not about culture or race or anything. This just needs therapy.

BUT there seem to be class differences. certainly. maybe? what class am i, really? i identify upper middle white suburban protestant...but are those my people? No. i'm on the verge of being unemployed, have just paid off about $25K in irresponsible dinners out, cute boots and art shows I never could afford, and am investigating food stamps. Oh, and i'm a single mom who shops at Groce Out.

So maybe there aren't class differences after all. maybe i just think I'm supposed to be UMC, and so i feel double guilt- one for thinking I'm better than these working class-ers, and one because I'm not actually affluent like I think I'm supposed to be.

Anyway. Back to Room 260. The woman in the patent leather 3" heels, cheap suit, too much cleavage and huge pearl jewelry is a volunteer. ?? She starts telling 13 strangers about "how you were raised" and "what your kids are like" and i became unhinged. in my WASP way, of course- by slumping in my chair and thinking about the thumbprint peach I was going to eat as soon as this session was over. and trying to meditate. oh California, I also love you.

In her too-familiar way, she told us about what a great parent she was. But it took me a minute to understand where she was going when she started talking about "Tiger"....thankfully, by the time she got to "Janet" and "OJ", I had picked up the tune. But there's no way you can walk in off the street and understand a thing about our 13 situations. except that we're all freaked out and we don't know the way. So tell us creative ways to solve our problems? (yes, please!?) Nope, she told us about her Family Bill of Rights. Tell the single people, fighting with people outside the room somewhere, about your ideal 2 parent, 2 child family with resources for a $300 baseball bat and $150/hr batting lessons. Top it off, for the one in the corner who's fighting to keep her last name and her son's the same with "My kids know what it means to be a Jackson...", and finish with the love and respect your kids have for you and your husband? Try again, Oakland.

lemons

my car got robbed!

and in the mess the thieves left, i found a new workout DVD

i have no stereo in my car...

but i did just get a new ipod at work.

[the father] decided to stop paying child support

so i'm cleaning house to raise cash for our nanny. clearing chi, as it were.

I've come to believe that optimism is really not a virtue, it's just another method of delusion.

nonetheless: LEMONADE

(PS lemme know if you wanna buy some high design tables. I'll make you a deal!)

world's best reason to call in sick

we spent the day watching footie, playing "nap", learning words and reading books.

he helped me with the dishes and we discovered a new library. he asked for "just one little berry" a couple of times and i indulged him. he also spoke "cracker" so he got that too. when i asked him where'd the banana go? he played dumb (signs point to: he ate it.) he's coy like that.

the jokes! as i walked out of his room tonight, he lifted himself up and waved: "byeee" he says. child! we snuggled and read before naptime and when he woke, he told a couple of jokes then too.

he had lots of naked time and we had lots of outdoors. we sort of started potty training, but it's going to be a while (mostly because there just aren't enough days like this one). i congratulated him when he peed on the floor because it seemed to freak him out. i tried to link the sign with the puddle with the action with the potty...we'll see how many connections were made.

i may have sunbathed in my underwear...thanks, neighbors, for pretending not to notice. he had splashed my skirt until it was uncomfortably wet. what else to do? this baby loves the water. insatiably.

when we were tired, we sat on the love seat and read- me a magazine and him the pilates DVD insert. whatever works! there is bubble wrap taped to the floor and we talked about the best way to enjoy it. and i kissed the knees he skinned when he slipped running. together we weigh 166.5 pounds. tomorrow maybe we'll make playdoh?

there are not enough days like this in my life. that boy is worth it.

none of my favorite bloggers are blogging

why are you all on vacation? why are you making me pick up the slack?

i don't have things to say. OR DO I?

Let's think about some projects I would like to undertake

Gardening!
Cooking!
Sewing!
Summertime...preserving food!
I'd like to spend 2x a week in yoga class
maybe help the nabes brew beer, or design a label for them
oh yah, study for LSAT

is that enough?

Throw in a little reading, alphabet teaching, counting, potty training, hugging, coloring, and kissing, and that sounds like a full agenda.

No?

sometimes, when things are rough

you get thrown a bone

like when i completely hate my job and can't wait to check out, i get paired with a totally nice, cute, funny office mate.

amen.

i don't have bandwidth for you

actually, i don't have the bandwidth for for most people.

i think i have the psychic capacity to handle

baby
job
house
family
neighbors
3 good friends

that's about it.

occasionally i have capacity for more. so i take on more. and
those people/projects either
fall by the wayside from time to time
or
get disappointed

sorry.

worst week ever (so far! please be careful not to tempt the gods)

served with lawsuit
somebody wants to change my baby's name
yelled at by SVP
TV broke
company site hacked- boss completely unavailable
washing machine quit draining
personal email hacked - all sorts of closed doors awkwardly reopened
checking account hacked- $$$ stolen, spent in NC
walked out of a show, kicked out of a dance troupe
"broke up with" friend's girlfriend
bailed on new friend - scolded via text message

but the baby is happy and healthy
and today i bought new dresses
(i'll worry about the bills later)

also- the sun is shining, i tried pastrami for the first time, and i helped put in a really pretty garden border.

i can still see the bright side. is that my saving grace or my ultimate downfall??

i deactivated facebook

to maximize privacy, i'm disappearing from the internet (obvs not entirely). why? well, maybe facebook could tell-- when i deactivated my account, the captcha phrase was

the prenatal

as in "if you had handled this in the prenatal stage, maybe you wouldn't be deactivating your account, dummy."

awesome = garden

the sink's been clogged for a couple of weeks, so cooking has taken a backseat. i'm playing in the yard instead~

i'm growing BERRIES this year

blackberries and raspberries by the shed.
blueberries in the front yard

ornamental strawberries in a pot on the stoop
last years strawberries gone wild in their bed

there's also a jasmine growing by the front door that makes me smile every time i smell it, and that Mexican Orange (?) that is leggy and irritating, but man it smells good and attracts the bees. 

finally, there's a barely hanging on lemon tree which must have rooted into something toxic or rock-like, which is now surrounded by nasturtiums i started from seeds. i fertilized the rose bushes with compost, too, just in time for their first big yellow bloom.

huzzah!

MIA helped me cook Thai food

oh my GOD i was bored with butternut squash. i love squash but sweet squash is a key baby food and i feel like i've been steaming squash non stop for the past year-even the munchkin was spitting it out-BLEH.

so when a coworker gave me some of her curry with acorn squash in it, i rejoiced. for serious.

SING THIS WHILE YOU COOK - you'll understand soon...


i found a recipe. i like how flexible she is with the ingredients, and that it doesn't include "curry paste". you know the thai ladies aren't buying jars of curry paste, why should i? anyway, i also took the opportunity to enjoy the bounty of bay area markets and learn about kaffir lime leaves and galanga. there was some old lemongrass in the fridge, too...

things i changed: sub 325 degrees, use one .5 lb fillet of cod (not farmed, not endangered). round two included turnips, carrots, broccoli. i have no idea how long i cooked it, whoops. i put it in a pie dish because i need a casserole dish :/

it's delicious. baby likes it too. but i forgot the butternut. whoops. so after i cooked everything, i pulled out the chunks and replaced them with slivered butternut (the thinner the slice the easier the knife goes through?!discoveries!). baked for approx 20 minutes at 375.

TO MAKE THIS EASIER-

there's no reason ( i don't think?) that you couldn't make a ton of this stuff and freeze jars of sauce for the next time. one day i'll try that.

And for more homework- GROW YOUR OWN
thaitable says "If you live in a nice and warm place with no frost try grow galangal in your yard. It has beautiful flowers that resemble orchids."

bored with food- go asian

i was so bored with my own cooking the only thing i could find to eat was a pan of brownies. after my heart exploded from palpitations, i made some:

yellow thai curry with cod, carrots, broccoli, a couple turnips (next post)

and then, with some leftover twirlie pasta, i went "peanut".
sesame oil and a spring onion, a few cloves of garlic (remaining from the curry, in fact) into the frying pan

add a few julienned turnips, thin carrot discs, tablespoons of almond butter (peanut would be better.), 1-2 T tamari, red pepper flakes, some canola oil. before everything got cooked too much, i added a little water to steam it up. then tiny pieces of broccoli...and in go the noodles! done!

i added peanut butter a few times. and another dash of sesame oil...there's probably a technique for knowing the proportions up front.

but AMEN for a fresh flavor with lots of fat. i appear to be hungry for fat, so that's a WIN. (i'm not afraid of fat- one day i'll go GAPS and BOY will i eat a lot of delicious fats then)

mama's in the kitchen and on the new computer

this blog serves ME most when i use it for recipes that work. i'm an improvisational cook, but when I'm uninspired i have no idea where to start. I'm going to try and help myself get motivated by posting - and thus remembering - successful kitchen experiments. It's also good for marking moments in time, so I'll be doing that too.

Here's a moment: right now I'm feeling very close to FREEDOM after applying this method to eradicate a mountain of debt. When I called a mortgage broker less than two years ago, i told him "i don't know if a mortgage is possible for me- my debt is about equal to half of my annual income. it's not going anywhere."

but now i'm really close* to paying off all but the student loan portion. WHAT?! (side note- grad school was the worst financial decision i ever made. it did get me to know myself deeply...was it worth the cost? depends on your priorities, i guess.)

what does this mean? it means FREEDOM. it means i can live anywhere and do anything without worrying about paying hundreds of dollars every month for past mistakes. i am excited. about taking trips and donating money and being FREE. or maybe just having a cushion. 2011 is on me.




*as close as my tax refund? we'll see.

this is my mantra

Feeling screwed up at a screwed up time in a screwed up place does not necessarily make you screwed up
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