genius humor child

Q: "What did the What say to the What?"

A: "You wanna?!"

who's late for work?

D DAY

maybe. we'll see. last night i dreamt about war. the night before i dreamt of a lovely artist's residency in oregon (that looked a whole lot like djerassi) that i had to share with hippies. dirty ones, and i was happy. i woke up and was *thrilled to be in my pretty room in my fluffy bed.

today may be the end of an era. it may not. it also may be the first (and last) day i go to ruby skye. the day i see biz markie. the first day in many that i eat too much chocolate. i am still happy.

alien me: SPOTTED!

http://www.flickr.com/photos/gawker/617501047/in/photostream/

I did go out of town. But I did NOT go to Coney Island for a corndog at the Mermaid Parade. This is not me. But it really looks like me. That is someone in New York with a wig that looks like my hair, who stole my shirt and sunglasses and is wearing a crappy necklace I would never wear. who is also blowing a corndog. EEEK.

summary

this is the part where i write about all of the lessons i learned in ptown. all of the realizations that a little distance and a little perspective and One Good Date showed me. most of them are things people have been telling me, or i've been telling people, for a while now. sometimes it takes a change of scenery for them to really settle in.

1) i need to spend more time at home
2) i truly want a partner, and i want it to be a man. i had to bail town on pride weekend because i didn't want to confuse myself with internalized gay pride all over again.
3) i will let myself be pursued. no more of this say what i want and see if he gives it up shit. i am going to live my [full] life, i am going to do what i need to do, and i will trust that he will show up or find me and make my life better. until then, i am doing my own bad ass shit. i know i know i know, you've all told me. now i heard.
4) i really have to start roller skating again. i f*king LOVE roller derby.

hmm. that was easy! welcome home, cookie.

whee!

I'm taking a trip! I'm getting on a plane for the first time this year! Oh wait, I flew to LA in January. I'm getting on a plane for the first time in 6 months! yayayyaya!

I'm going to Rose City. And I'm going to, as usual, see some indie rock, shop some vintage, drink some coffee, and breathe tree breath. Yippee!

i think i'm ready now

that's all. for the real thing this time.

psychic vacation

i am taking 2 days off work because i am having a baby breakdown. last weekend's wedding or homeless hippies with their life partners and no social skills, plus a night of hyphy and turning away a perfectly acceptable life partner really put me through the ringer.

i took yesterday to sleep and read and run around with malinda and maggie (and almost hit the USRDA of 10000 steps), and then today i felt even sicker.

today i'm reading starhawk, connecting to my inner pagan, watching Heavenly Creatures, and getting ready for a***, the night visitor.

i think i'll be ready for some structure and capitalist heirarchy tomorrow. if i am ever ready for that shit.

sick Otto

my big silver baby's been having trouble for a while...check engine light, busted windshield wiper, then last week's flat tire. Sad lil Otto still looks so cute and runs so fast. And parks great...and I got him washed, so I'm not a completely negligent mama...but now it's time to take him to the doctor. Mostly because I have money in the bank and no $1-400 traffic offense tickets to pay.

should I go here:
or here?

SF or East Bay? It's the eternal question. I think this time I'm going west. We'll see how it goes.

speechless

Me: that pic is fn funny. anyway, wanna come over for nap time later? sweet.
__: probably can't just f* off from work at 3 (prime napping time), but i might make a run out to the 510 later today.
i spose i can break you off before i return
Me: (ten minutes later) that's great.

Flat tire! bras! and why are my friends so weird?

oh right, i realized, 11:30pm, green muck on my face, a shoelace around my head, sewing my friend/housemate/family member's purple silk wedding sarong, wearing a paint by numbers cowboy shirt with a sick, too-sensitive-for-this-world friend sick in my bed. Oh, and a purse full of underwear and beauty products (new ones! payday!), with my car 3/4 of a mile down the street, flat-ted out.

It's cause I'm pretty damn weird myself. Then I went to sleep on the couch. And called AAA in the morning, because I didn't pay that annual membership fee for nothin.

I hope my reasoning holds for the "hot friends" question too!

Today I will fix the tire, replace my windshield wiper, buy a pregnancy test, and try to get a little rest. Or yoga.

home run

Have I mentioned yet how much I LOVE MY CSA? I LOVE IT. I've had "farm boxes" before, as everyone knows, and you may remember me desperately trying to send you home with a pound or four of tomatoes or potatoes at some point. I remember a veggie basket in the pantry @ highfive house that was always holding a pound or two of sprouting potatoes. This box from Eatwell Farm is different. There's always a mix of veggies and fruits - strawberries, cherries, & apples, so far, and greens- baby lettuces, "stir fry mix," cabbages (so far THREE different kinds), roots and herbs. HERBS! ok, we used to get basil by the bushel, but these herbs vary.

We have gotten a lot of parsley. If anything, it's the only thing we've OD'ed on. but we've also gotten lemon balm (YUM), basil (just the right amount!) and rose geranium. I expect we'll get lavender, too, because the farm is AKA "Lavender Farm." WTF is rose geranium? Rose Geranium and Lavender are cosmetic herbs! The only point of them is that they smell good and you can put em in your hair/makeup/lotion. and of course, your tea.

I love it. Get your own, bitches. It's only 60 miles away! Or come over on Wednesday for the freshest pickins. YUMMY!

pet peeve

when the receptionist puts the content of the message in the subject field. aaahh! the worst! how the hell am i supposed to read that?

love,
marcom

hot friends!

why are my friends So Hot?!

and why is every day So Long! i think there's a relationship here...

yesterday, AFTER a full day of work, I had: pick up the farm box, dinner date (oh the deck), a birthday party, networking on the way home, home improvement. It's not a wonder that 7am feels REALLY EARLY. But everyone's so irresistible, and the sun is shining, so why not, really. I love summertime.

Some days i feel REALLY connected

and i remember that I'm good at throwing parties where rad people meet (& fall in love or into bed). I had forgotten, being the one who was "back in town," but now it's all coming back to me. I know hellllla people. and they mostly all ROCK. Extra specially you, readerbabies.

oh and i don't feel like doing "pork is bad and so is shrimp" research today. so do your own, if you want to ruin dim sum for yourself. xo

bff :(

i took Lil Lola to the airport last night. :( She's gone for 6 weeks!!! We go through phases, talking every day, hanging out 2-3-4 times a week, then not seeing at all. but there's always the phone, always the option to forward her my annoying boy email.

le sigh. i did get an extra 45 minutes with her, though, when she missed her AM flight and I got to drive her to the airport at 10 last night! that was nice.

because in addition to QT, we processed the day's IMs (annoying) and talked about nervous systems and misunderstandings and oh what do you know, i ended up oh so very close to the baby boy's house. so i stopped by for a minute. and in between rounds, i asked him "how old are you" and he told me what I already knew, and he asked me "same question" and i [laughs].

and then i said "can we make some plans?" and he said "do we have to have A Talk now?" and i said "NO. Talks give me hives." and then we did it again.

and all is good.

yesterday's stats:
158/5950/40m/2/$30

dim sum is ruining the world!

think about it: all of that pork and shrimp, eaten every day, as though it were innocuous as tea & crumpets. I'll provide stats later about how those two proteins are so ecologically ruinous. but i just had this epiphany and I wanted to share it with YOU!

did you know?

That there's a rustic boardwalk in Emeryville? That it goes out to the sweetest Marina and park in the middle of the Bay? As I add steps to my morning commute, I'm parking a little farther away and taking the scenic route down the old boardwalk into work. Very centering. Very nice. Can you see the cars in the distance? Nope, me neither.

i am pissed at my roommates

because they think they're sooo tragic sometimes. like their lives are soo full of sadness and injustice and unwarranted burdens upon them. but come on. they hang out, smoke pot, buy shit (no really, LOTS of it. but you know that, you've seen my house), and take naps. of course they're bored and make up drama, and of course when there's something to do it feels like a MASSIVE taxing project.

come on now, you two. you threw a bachelorette party at the beach, and then you came home. you caused a drama attack when everyone was supposed to be having fun, and now you've been "recovering" from a 2-day getaway for a day and a half. that's insane.

it's also rude to leave 6 bags of perishables in the middle of the kitchen. but of course you know that it will drive me crazy and so yes, i took care of the rotting parts. you're welcome.

btw: rent was due a week ago. if you're not paying, do you think I could have mine back? that would rule.

Let's apply all this knowledge

Things I need to work on:

1) Photograph better (learn some good poses. make those faces a lot.)
2) Eat better> Ok, just eat less.
3) more exercise
4) less driving
5) More creative pursuits
6) Less telling other people what to do
7) Winking


Things I'm okay with for now: Either they're in fine shape or I'm not going to overwhelm myself with taking on more. This is known as "knowing my limits."
1) level of meditation (but don't slip!)/prayer
2) smoking
3) sex
4) relationships

Things I'm really happy about now:
Eating local/home grown veggies
my new room design & cleaning (photos to come)
brazilian! (um i'll spare you)
best friends ever! (see right! plus the ones who are unphoto'd!)
and my new friend Tala. Which means "baby palm tree."

love R

inner spiral

I've been telling other people How it Is a bunch lately. Three of them that I can think of, just that easily. Who do i think i am?

(work post) my favorite!

is when mr mcwhiney has NOTHING to do with any part of the process, and then shows up to tell me how to do it. don't you love that? me too.

yay work. please send dilbert cartoons.

how berkeley can we be

Returning from my 12-step meeting, i walked into a room choking with the aroma of weed, yet somehow visibly clear. I tried to chat but couldn't breathe. I quickly scuttled to the kitchen. Carlo followed not far behind.

"What's your rising sign?"
"Taurus."
[Carlo nods, returns to the smoke]

I came back to photograph the scene-- because this is real life?

• Carlo stands (in front of a chair), flipping through a magazine.
• Xianna sits, starting sentences, asking questions, saying she looks like she's from the 60s from the swoosh of her hair.
• The Smash grins ahead
• Zaz text messages a friend in Napa. for 10 minutes. one text message.
• and the Jus, of course, strums the guitar on the floor. nevermind that KALX is playing folk music in the next room.

if only the reflection of me as photographer would show- i stood in the doorway for a good few minutes, trying to get a nighttime exposure to work.

ah, berkeley.

and again!

I'm blogging like a madwoman today. Why? because I'm leaving work any minute to go get a culture and maybe an IUD! Isn't that what they give poor women in third world countries? No! it's the wave of the modern world. Maybe. One expert [whose number is in my cell phone] agrees: go for it. Especially as lax as I am about, ahem, security. oh my god, people, please tell no one what you read here.

post script: the doctor actually recommended against the IUD because, as with everything else, I am not with my One Life Partner. i can deal with this single woman thing most of the time, but come on! i can't even get the birth control i want because of it?! this is getting out of hand. i am TRYING, people!

why i don't talk to my family (much)

so many best parts:
1) that she wrote me at the old address to say she had changed her address book
2) that she got the auto response again (she must have) and yet did not write to my new address.

HELLO?

From: "stepsister"
To: myoldemail@yahoo.com
Subject: RE: Yahoo! Auto Response
Date: Thu, 31 May 2007 09:41:22 -0500

Done!! How is everything going?

-Stepsister


>From: myoldemail@yahoo.com
>To: stepsistersemail@hotmail.com
>Subject: Yahoo! Auto Response
>Date: Thu, 31 May 2007 05:47:37 -0700 (PDT)
>
>I DID NOT GET YOUR MESSAGE.
>
>I've been on gmail for a long time now. PLEASE! Write me at the same
>address, but end it with "gmail.com."
>
>And please please please update your address book. I probably miss
you!
>
>xoxo
>rebecca

top 8

Me: I'll start: The Beach
Him: Does it have to be in the same vein? Because I'm inclined to say 'Mountains' [kissing] Hmmmm. Sunshine.
Me: (I can't remember, seriously)
Him: I'm just gonna go out there and say 'sex.'
Me: Friends
Him: Music (What kind? Any old? ok.)
ME: I'm bored of this game. Let's get out of here.

I'm distracted today. I think he broke me.

secret!

no, maggie, you may not link to my blog. i want to remain moderately secret so that I don't start faking! thanks for the plug, though. you are the hottest.

today i wanted to say something about "the special K", because his intentions have been so bizarrely mysterious- he shows up, sleeps over, hangs out, spends lots of time, and then goes away. it's like we're friends, but it's also not.

i called last night for an update on his trailer trash plans (move to emeryville, live in a trailer in the yard while he remodels his house)...He's coming to town on Weds. "wanna hang weds?" he IMs me. oh but what? i have a date! I am not available for his drop into town! "too bad," he writes, and logs off.

tee hee. mr pouty pants can take it. i'm going out with the baby boy.

Finally

triple laid (i didn't make that up). awwyeah

praise jesus, ganesha, shiva and all the rest of em.

tonight: Oakland art, Devil-ettes, girl time. Hell yes!

statistics breakdown

for the sneaky:

weight/steps/minutes of aerobic exercise/orgasms/transit dollars