back to the Real World

This is really cool.

http://throwplace.com/

one door closes

and another one opens, right? That's what the revolving door has shown me...but I'm having a lot of trouble closing this door. Maybe a safety net will convince me. Are you there yet, safety net?

dear closing door-

I don't want to be "one of your calls." I want my flirty text message to fire you up, and I want you to be able to respond. Within an hour or so. Not 7 hours later when you're making the rest of your calls, scheduling the rest of your commitments. I'm more than that. f u.

(& bye bye!)

ok, not all of them

I don't *really* hate men. just sometimes. it's not like I *really* trust women any more than I do men...I'm just more afraid of men. Women can be nasty and evil and cruel, but I understand that stuff. All men can do is reject. And that's much worse.

But I asked for what I need yesterday, and I got a grin and a delicious kiss and the affirmation I wanted, and I think i got some understanding and some appreciation too.
all for having the balls to ask for it.

I guess this "man" thing is making me grow after all. No wonder I'm so scared of em!

PS
In addition to the stuff above, this weekend I also got a stuffed penguin to sleep with. Oh the very very sexy 30s I've entered.

"do you learn from your mistakes?"

it's an interesting question. [boy] asked it in reference to my inclination to pour the kettle before the water had boiled. when he woke me up later and said "rebecca, you fell asleep in my bed," it seemed like there were a lot of further implications for me.

resolved: i will pay attention. i will learn something.

i will also remember that boys are fucking retarded and i sort of hate them. even as i want their [something].

oooohhhh. i see

i just found out why the strange asexual girl is always giving me the death vibe. It's cause I was crushing on her boyfriend. And he was flirting with me and well, because I'm not neutered like her.

They are tree people, and they are going to the warm springs to commune and stuff. And that's fine, because I am more of a beach girl anyway. You can have your slow talking, corn fed man, missy. and his nice hands. <>

endangered species ringtones!

ok, the premise is completely tragic, but this is AWESOME. I'm downloading Beluga whale right now.

http://rareearthtones.org/ringtones/

charmed life

zeitgeist on friday night
quickie visit to the art opening
delicious enchiladas, soul music, new drunk friends & sculptural wilted flowers
handpicked bouquets for sale at the BART station
(kissing in a secret cottage somewhere in oakland)
scones from around the corner, sharing tea
shovels, picks and a hoe from the tool lending library
flowers herbs and a blueberry bush from the garden store
make a bough for the front door, put up a gaudy new chandelier
nap
dinner party
raucous party
hilarious, brilliant friends
strange new people
singing
hugging, and some groping (gasp)
tea in the garden
hot pants
hard work with good friends
did i mention hot pants? style is for every moment
breakfast at 4:30
laughing, sweating, resting, stinking
to the movies on sunday night
ahhh

zeitgeist on a friday is better than any moment at sxsw. i just think it must be true.

and kissing, well. mmhmm

book blog

I really like reading. Here's what I've been reading this year. It's all good. If it's not good, I put it down and will never mention it again.

Continuing last year's strange "everyone handed me a book about India" trek, I've picked this up again. It's 600 pages and it's all about history, so around Christmas I needed something juicier. I'm back into it and love the narrative of Indira Ghandi & partition's effects. Cool. Also, I've learned "Hai Ram" as an exclamation!


Also reading this. The Goldfish really liked it, but I hate it. Nevertheless I feel like it's something important to "have read." Seriously. I HATE this book. but I have a really pretty edition, so that makes the experience sort of better.

Finished this one a couple of weeks ago. I cried. I never cry when I read. I mean, I'm a visual person. But this one Ruled. It tricked me- at first i thought it was ultra post modern mish mash irreverent sort of light fiction, but then it wasn't. Gigantically recommended.

also enjoying these, as the garden calls for them:

dreamtime

last night i dreamt that one boy sent an emissary (no idea who she was, except that she was a she) to break up with me- maybe at the St Pat's party...and then another boy came back from his trip with flowers. for me. on a sunny weekend afternoon.

and then i woke up reassuring someone (this one might have just been me) that it's ok I left the New York Times Magazine in the park on sunday, because a new one would be on the doorstep tomorrow. but then it was only Tuesday.

Pretty intense when just Monday makes you ready for the weekend, isn't it?

it's a big weekend so it makes sense there's some expectation, or anticipation, or fear, or something in all of the factors coming up. the garden, the ex, the new ones.

so. crawling into bed now. maybe tonight I'll just dream about india.

sunburn

hottest day so far- summer started in March this year. I've got my "first hot day in dolores park" sunburn to show for it. check!

are you human?

is it just me or are those freakin "type the letters you see in the box" codes super hard to decode? i get them wrong about 40% of the time- are they case sensitive? is that a 9 or a g? it's all distorted. oh sh*t, is my caps lock on? maybe the problem is that I am human.

"that's stealing!"

is what my stepdad said when he heard about the aforementioned $368. California's known for taxing the F out of its residents, right? well, yes. anyway, here's a picture of what I got for my hard earned dollars:

I also got to get Texas "out of my corner."
Who's down to join me on a road trip?

$368

picture to come. it's worth every penny. of course, I could have bought a freakin bike...