holla!

dude, the bi rite fantasy girl is going to be my friend and friendster, i am master cleansing myself, i have ditched the super talented girl who gave me eating disorders and claustrophobia, and i'm going to reconnect with my ex, in a safe friendly friends place.

i'm also going to end the weekend with a harness, and i hope, something to put in it. and then the week will roll in so spectaculalry, and the ides of march will have nothin on me.

you can find yourself in a lot of places

you don't have to go to a meeting and you don't have to pay any admission and you don't have to really do any one thing in particular except ask. like you know, say hello. say how are you rebecca, and maybe or maybe not listen for an answer and if not that's okay, because some sort of intelligence will come. intelligence like, "hey the washer drain hose is lying on the kitchen floor." and that's important information too. Like whoa.

pickle

i was literally in a pickle last night and it's so clear soemtimes and most of the time it's not. it's so delicious, all the time, no matter who's there and that is the thing about bittersweet, that i can like them so much individually and know all the same that it's going to end somehow, and it's going to hurt.

SINGLE

I was afraid (with good reason) that I was going to fall into another relationship, and find myself all coupled, accidentally.

But that's not gonna happen. nope. i am single and i like the women and i am staying single. bam. so much for profundity.

loan

i am paying the first installment of my student loans tomorrow. who's a grownup?

i have been sick for five days and i am over it. maybe i should like go to the doctor, if there were more hours in the day.

the spaces between the letters seem a little arbitrary, and mutable. like they're dancing about and i shouldn't stare at them too long.

things start to change when your head is occupied bya surfeit of regular fluids. they take on characteristics of foreign substances, and it's not all right.

+ + + +

romance. enough said.

(we should discuss it later)