wow. ok. i'm listening.

last night i decided i was really done with this crap. really. (but sort of like the other times).

today i still could have written. yesterday i deleted him from my phone, but today i could have emailed. i didn't. until tonight, when i came home and wrote "go figure your stuff out. we can have tea, but not really."

at the same moment, Affirmation (from February) called. while we were talking, the filmmaker called. this shit is real. i wasn't ready for those fellas before, so they fell away. but they weren't gone- they just didn't get the cue to call until i was. so now we're back in touch. and my weekend is beyond full. thanks, e'erybody.

and ok, ok- as i drove home, i was making a date with a new one, and i gave mr. nice hands at work my phone number too, but well, those two aren't going anywhere. or something. the point is, last night i wrote and said "i get it. no." and today the doors opened. again. it feels much better this way.