dysmorphic

I don't really understand the shape of my body. and it's ruining my sewing.

I make things. and they're too big. I'm SO afraid of them being too tight too sausagy too ugly that i make the next size up. And they look like garbage.

My Ginger jeans are a case in pont - but maybe that's in the ease (says Heather). My latest two wraps, the Jasper sweater and Jenna cardigan (muslin), were both too big. Jasper looks like poop. I've photographed it a few times, and every time i think "ew"-- that's why you havent seen it. It's made out of this crazy soft double cloth though, and I wear it anyway. It gets compliments because the neck is cool. But it's too big. The size 7 has a bigger cup size than the others, so I went for that. Mistake.

i think my mom is thin (for her age!) and she's definitely fit and active. she's wearing my coat here and it's loose in the bust and tight in the waist - opposite of how it fits me. there's too much mixed up data!

Jenna is the same deal. I made a 38 because i was afraid of looking like a fat girl in a too small vintage sweater. It's just baggy enough to look super ugly. I also used some garbage knit and had some issues with my walking foot, which didn't help. I need to make the 36. Or maybe smaller. But I'm always afraid.

shapely legs, ooh

Because some days I feel like a svelte dancer athlete, lithe and wonderful and flying, and other days I feel like a fat mom in unflattering yuckies, unaware of how old and ugly she is. How does the person who is both of those things dress????

frumpy hike mom

I cut out this gorgeous Georgina dress in the size I thought I needed. Halfway through I found out the pattern hadn't included seam allowances. It fits PERFECTLY. that tells you something, doesn't it? I was making a size or two smaller than I thought I needed. And it's just right.

size 38? or nah?

I've complained about this before, but when I am sane, I know that I am/my body is just regular. Not big, small, flabby, or superfit. A little busty... But medium in most ways. In just about any store I wear a Medium. If the store is faking their sizes, I wear a Small (i know they're faking because I am only small if large is obese.) If it's a store for teens and I wear a large, i know that i'd better make careful style choices ;)

So here's my promise to myself. When I am making, I will make a size down. Something about the measurements of my body and the measurements in a pattern mean that I need to size down. I will trust that I am perfect and also getting better, and I deserve super fly sexy edgy clothes to wear.

also my nostrils are super asymmetrical. just try to unsee it! 

Most of the time, I know it. This is my promise to remember in those tricky times.

do you have a secret to getting your fitting realistic? please tell!!!!

xxo

bex