probably i'll llook back fondly

and remember that i was bored. and be curious about that and wish i had more energy when i get out of work...but i'll be invested again. go new title writer go!

i'm doing an informal survey

to learn who thinks i'm not that smart. Aaron.

work work and vacation too

you know that feeling after a big cry? when you clean yourself up, leave the bathroom stall, and walk back into your office? I keep having that feeling, but without the crying part. Seriously. I have these shitty interactions (with bosses mostly) then feel like I've been crying. But i haven't cried for days and days and days. and it's not that "about to cry" bursting feeling either, it's definitely the "after."

I don't know.

but new CommDir just told me i look 26 and I'm sick of not being taken seriously here. It's a cycle, because i have honestly not been putting much in-- I can't blame others for being unimpressed. So I'm starting again. Next week trial, then vacation to New York. When I'm back, Communications Dept 100%. F*ck this noise.

I will

• show up on time.


• not waste my time getting "dressed" for SuperCasual hiker office


• wear glasses even though my peripheral vision thus sucks and i get sleepy and headachy. Maybe I'll get some fake ones this weekend.

Looking five years younger is great, but not at work. I have almost 10 years of work experience, and I'm not much farther along than when i quit it all 5 years ago for dance. So the folks who think I'm 26 [and that's where my career is, too] are just about right. But they're not. That was a worthy pursuit and now i have a master's degree and an interesting life story, AND I need to get somewhere in my career. I certainly have the intellect for it. If I can just get through the posturing and politics.

mom's back! and she brought presents

yay!!! Mom's back in town*! I've been having urges to call her, but she's been in Tahiti. that's right. for Lent, my mom went to Tahiti. I can't complain, cause it meant she stopped by for a visit (and was brokenhearted to miss the mags and t neece! seriously. she kept talking about it, you guys). She and Dick played and bought me wine and dinner...and came back with this:

The story of the manual manipulation of vanilla plants. for pollination. also customs. cause our lovely golden state is fierce about ag. imports. So- Momma got herself some black pearls (I asked for none, please), and me A Vanilla Bean.

What makes this, in fact, a fabulous gift is that once i plunk said bean into a bottle of liquor (vodka and rum were Mom's suggestions), I'll have a gigantic bottle of Tahitian Vanilla Extract.

and then we will make cookies!

__

*I'm using "town" loosely here. What I really mean is "in the US".

is it the sunshine?

reading the blogs made me feel good today. extraspecially this one.

i hate the dentist (let's pretend that didn't happen and stay happy). And i love 7am yoga. hugs before work and regular check ins = happiness.

yayyyyyyyy

what should i do?

i want to keep learning guitar and playing in this rock band, cause it rules.

i also want to learn hindi and go to india. and when i'm there i'd like to continue learning (traditional medicine? yoga is so obvious. work on a farming project?)

in the meantime, i should do better at my job. things are weird here now. it's transitional...like a farm...but annoying nonetheless.

and finally, from the sweets of the internets, here's my favorite. I want this guy to come to my house. if you'd like to hire him too, click here.

dude

i'm pretty sure i dreamt about britn3y spe4rs last night

wtf is that??

and something about something adnan and oh! i was at her house. and we went on some bizarre escape trip and got some free makeup (and i think she got clothes, but i was not so chosen) and she ran off and stuff and somehow i got back to the house where there was a party going on and i was exhausted and wrapped in a blanket. anyway, she was cute, so it must have been someone else. real brit is a little gnar-gnar lately. also there was a pretty view. and maybe a kidnap-style van.

another peek into the workings...