work work and vacation too

you know that feeling after a big cry? when you clean yourself up, leave the bathroom stall, and walk back into your office? I keep having that feeling, but without the crying part. Seriously. I have these shitty interactions (with bosses mostly) then feel like I've been crying. But i haven't cried for days and days and days. and it's not that "about to cry" bursting feeling either, it's definitely the "after."

I don't know.

but new CommDir just told me i look 26 and I'm sick of not being taken seriously here. It's a cycle, because i have honestly not been putting much in-- I can't blame others for being unimpressed. So I'm starting again. Next week trial, then vacation to New York. When I'm back, Communications Dept 100%. F*ck this noise.

I will

• show up on time.


• not waste my time getting "dressed" for SuperCasual hiker office


• wear glasses even though my peripheral vision thus sucks and i get sleepy and headachy. Maybe I'll get some fake ones this weekend.

Looking five years younger is great, but not at work. I have almost 10 years of work experience, and I'm not much farther along than when i quit it all 5 years ago for dance. So the folks who think I'm 26 [and that's where my career is, too] are just about right. But they're not. That was a worthy pursuit and now i have a master's degree and an interesting life story, AND I need to get somewhere in my career. I certainly have the intellect for it. If I can just get through the posturing and politics.