back at work- blog rec

i LOVE this blog

http://obamafoodorama.blogspot.com/

that's what i'm doing, between pumping and email.

baby

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Originally uploaded by the littlest raptor

see below.

chips and chocolate

there is no way to start and fill in the gaps since i last blogged. tonight i had chips and chocolates for dinner, as my re-heated thai food cooled on the table. when the baby cries, i usually respond. he's so beautiful and so exhausting. i want to stare at him for days on end and i want to leave him with his grandmother and go shopping. for a walk. anything. this time is short, though, so i am not sweating the fact that i haven't left the property for several days (wait- no- i went to the pharmacy** on christmas, so it's only 2 days...), or just changed from one set of pjs into a new one at 5pm. this baby's going to grow up and i'll never have him so tiny and new again. so buying new pants, or finding the ones i used to wear, will have to wait. besides, his dad gave me this crappy box of chocolates for christmas, so why let them go to waste?

so you- come on over- and let's go for a walk. xoxo r


** baby has what doc thinks is staph !?!?! on his lil thighs and armpits. those baby folds go deep, and you can miss these things. poor lil guy is on antibiotics. so i'm eating yogurt for two.

1 h@d a baby

51 hours in the hospital. i really need to write more about it. most inexperienced birth team ever, maybe, and the best ever...mostly. dad is on my shitlist, but what else is new? i'm not impressed with his lack of intention in his "presence". seems like the two of us just really don't understand one another At All. irritating, cause we made a damn fine baby.

today some interesting things happened: i went to the doctor, i started crying, i couldn't stop crying, i took a nap, maybe, and then got some nursing gear...then i coughed and am pretty sure i started bleeding. this sh* is how do you say intense?

good week for dollars

i got a bonus and a raise

and three days ahead of me at work

and AMEN hallelujah that the raise takes effect one month ago. Mama's gonna need that money soon.

haunted house

i woke up, with a start, at 3:20am, knowing that i really need to exorcise my house. i read for a while and went back to sleep. that's when i dreamt that i and my family had a new house.

it was gorgeous, but kind of remote. and one of the rooms was like a kiva type thing on a fucking cliff above the sea, and seemed like it might get a little cold. we got a good deal, or it was free, or the main house was marvelous or something. so we went for it. i don't know who "my family" means, in this case.

so some people came over (family friends? members?) and then we all went to bed but they seemed to pass out in the pool and oops they drowned. fortunately they drowned on top of the previous owner/resident of the house, so all three bodies were in the pool.

in the morning, with some buddy of mine, i pulled out the drain stopper to reveal the disaster, and all three of the drowned people in the tub awoke.

"oh," i realized, "the cost for this house is immortality." and then kept replaying that 'drowned people waking up' image.

"I hope we have investments," i thought, "because this is going to be expensive."

Postscript:
Lydia came over for dinner the next night and I told her about this dream. And then we went out and bought sage on Telegraph and sage'd the crap out of the house. With an Irish blessing and some Hebrew to finish. It's much better now!

red headed stepchild

apparently my biomom has assumed this view of me as well. who knows if my stepdad will come out to meet the new baby, but mom can offer up to 10 days. unless it interrupts christmas. in which case, tough. good luck with all of that. call if you want me to mail you some shit.

oh and the month long golf vacation in palm springs? no, honey, don't guilt me into changing that. we might stop by for a week before or after. if we feel like it.

is this what "support you however we can" means? i would think otherwise. no wonder i have a complex about needing people.