i have to start making a new dance. on tuesday. well, today, in fact, and then i have to teach it to my favorite girl performers starting tuesday. at 9:30am. in berkeley. jesus.
so i made up some moves, and i played the music over and over, but what the hell is this dance about. i think it's about giving in. about not wanting to, like, at all, and sucking it up and giving it up to somebody.
sooo gay.
cause i made the one dance, about "everything i think is nice is fucked."
and then the next dance was "i keep committing to fucked up shit and it sucks and i am over it."
and so this one, the coda that brings the two "characters" together, is about working within that knowledge. that fine everything is fucked, and even if i commit myself to this it might just suck and let me down and fuck it fine i am diving in anyway. handing over the reins to someone else (who may be doing the same thing in which case who is driving this thing?? and i love that idea the most), throwing up my hands, ripping open my heart, going for it.
here i am baby. come and take me. or, that is, here i am baby, take that. take this, and this and this. fine.
[stomps off]
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