it's the new style

it's weird thinking about gaining weight, when you've spent most of your life being borderline anorexic (not that you'd know) and both healthily and not healthfully obsessed with food.

all of my paranoias about hormones and pesticides are through the roof now. my body, paradoxically, is giving me messages like "hot dog NOW." and "those donuts will make me feel better." and it's/i'm right. but today i've gone back to most of the old ways, organic, with flax oil, fresh, whole. it feels good. and i'll have the donut later.

so freaking weird. i may never do this again (an old/new again friend reminded me), so i may as well do it consciously. quit with the fire breathing yoga yesterday, at least temporarily, and while i felt like a pussy and a quitter, the new class was just right for my energy level and body-centered paranoia. so amen for that.

in other news, i slept through the night. does the fascinating news never cease??