Halloween report- delayed by events

Last weekend, Halloween weekend, i went to a party in "the woods." My roommate (Jordan, one of the good ones in my life's long long list of housemates) calls it "the brush country", which is more apt.

We went as a mosquito (bug eyes, brown paper proboscis, striped sweater & brown leather pants) and a Rollergirl (hot pant denim jumpsuit, chest tattoo, pigtails, knee & thigh highs, two black eyes & assorted protective gear), and found the weirdest group yet. Our friends were Medusa and Mario (of Mario brothers), the hostess was a butcher, and the crowd was uncomfortably eclectic:

Thugs- real ones, in jerseys and big pants, and rolling blunts, ogling women but not interested in conversation with them

"White people"- not a costume either, these folks looked like cookie cutter campus greeks if they were from a wholesome, small town in Iowa where people went on dates to hold hands and talk about the corn harvest. They were slightly more conversational, but seemed to be worried that the skank of my Rollergirl might wash off on them. Next!

Panchita & Vaquero- most offensive costume I've seen yet, this woman had stuffed a strapless pink dress with gobs of padding, her husband sported the cowboy belt, hat & boots, they raised their tiny white picket fence & shouted "no fence!" whoa.

Middle Aged Ranch Dudes- these guys, again, dressed as themselves. WTF? It was a Halloween bonfire & hayride!! Come on people. They didn't want to talk much because they were listening to the UT game on the radio- super party faux pas, imho.

I'm not sure which one was dressed as the Chainsaw Massacre-r, but I guess he was one of the cool kids, having bothered to outfit himself. This guy put his chainsaw to use cutting down any trees that verged too close to the gigantic fire. That's right. They built a fire close to some trees, then chopped down the trees and burned them. No mojito could fix this party.

We went home, wishing for an indie rock dance party. We got pulled over, and thankfully the cop asked aobut my beaten face. He let us go with a "fix your headlight." and on!