omygod i'm doing a totally new dance in two days and beyond totally new it's totally unknown. well, mostly, and i'm so excited and SCARED and nervous and exhilarated about its prospects. new partner, new concept (improvisation, myself dancing), new collaborator (on musical accompaniment, also improvised). Audience? whoa. and of course, it feels like this is The Show that will make or break me in general public opinion. like all the rest, right.
also, the day after its second showing, i'm starting rehearsals for another one, and so i'm being very drawn to administrative tasks: balancing my budget, looking for festival/showcase applications online, anything to get me away from the actual artmaking.
don't get me wrong, the actual art making is the best part. it's someone else's work ethic in me that makes me "account for myself through the wise use of my leisure time" (thanks, jonathan franzen), and so when the actual fun soul baring part comes up, i reach for the cultural affirmation part, to make sure i'm not just a self-obsessed moron. funny how i'm blogging about self-obsession.
tomorrow, dance class. "dance is so weird" a woman said in class this morning, "I can't believe this is what I do.?"
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